


Somebody's Having a Small Town Big Time Night Somewhere

by jdrush



Series: Doing It To Country Songs [10]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (2016)
Genre: Bantering, Humor, M/M, Modern AU, and cake of course, and some matchmaking, it's time for a wedding!, two idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28531692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdrush/pseuds/jdrush
Summary: Scenes from Joshua and Rafe's wedding, as seen through the eyes of the happy couple, and reluctant best man, Red Harvest.
Relationships: Joshua Faraday/Vasquez, Red Harvest/Teddy Q
Series: Doing It To Country Songs [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1475423
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Somebody's Having a Small Town Big Time Night Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> RATING: R, for boykisses and some m/m sexy times  
> DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, and I made no money off this story. Title comes from Blake Shelton. You shouldn't be surprised by that. And I may have stolen, ahhh, borrowed a line from “Parks and Recreation”. Couldn't help myself—it just seemed like the kind of advice Faraday would give. More notes at end.  
> AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thank you once again to everyone who has left kudos and feedback for this series. And a big 'thank you' also to my friend, Michele for her suggestions, and for being a great sounding board. As always, all Spanish comes from Google Translate. If you see something that's wrong, let me know. No betas were harmed in the making of this fic. All mistakes are mine.

This was it. After months of planning and endless compromises—or rather, concessions—the big day had finally arrived.

Joshua Faraday and Rafael Vasquez were getting hitched.

At first, Faraday had been skeptical about the whole church thing when Rafe suggested it. He hadn't been to church in years, literally, and was fairly sure God would strike him down if he stepped into one. But Rafe came from a religious family and wanted a church service, so when he managed to find a non-denominational chapel that would accommodate them, Faraday couldn't refuse him.

Then again, when had he ever been able to refuse Rafe anything?

And now, as he made his way down the aisle, beautifully decorated with flowers and white bows and swags, with his mom at his side, he knew it had been the right choice. He walked proudly past hundreds of Rafe's friends and family, many he didn't know, and indeed, had never seen before today. They were probably all judging him, but he didn't care. He was too happy to worry what they thought. He saw his own guests were grouped together in a single pew which might have seemed sad, but the truth was he didn't have much family, and all his really close friends were already in the wedding party.

One of those friends stood at the end of the aisle. Sam Chisolm had been promoted from usher to officiant after Rafe learned he was a ordained minister in Kansas, Arkansas, Nebraska and seven other states, including California. Rafe's sisters, Isabella and Gabriella, stood to left of Sam; Goody and Billy to the right. Rafe's friend, Barry the photographer, was poised, camera in hand, waiting for the action to begin. Somewhere out of sight, Faraday knew Red and Emma were with the dogs, waiting to make their grand entrance.

His mother gave him wink and a kiss on the cheek before taking her seat, leaving him standing at the altar, looking out over the sea of unfamiliar faces, searching for the only one that mattered—the stupidly handsome face he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

And then, there he was.

Faraday had initially scoffed at the idea of a 'black and white' wedding, thinking it would be pretentious and far too trendy. But seeing Rafe now in his Tom Ford white dinner tux, Faraday was glad he had lost that argument. All eyes were on Rafe as he walked gracefully down the aisle, his proud mother on his arm. Faraday saw the enviously looks, and smiled to himself. _Eat_ _your hearts out_ , he thought, smugly. _That one belongs to me!_

When they got to the front of the church, Amelia Vasquez placed her son's hand in Faraday's, gave them both a kiss on the cheek (and Faraday a stern look as if to say, 'you hurt him, I'll hurt you'), then stepped away from them to take her seat across from Faraday's mother.

Sam started speaking, but Faraday hardly paid attention. He couldn't take his eyes off Rafe, just like that first night three years ago, at Emma's wedding reception. Back then he was a drifting, aimless mess. He was reckless, weary, and lonely, with just his cards, his booze, and his dog for company. Then this man appeared, like some sexy guardian angel, and changed all that, giving Faraday more love and happiness than he ever thought possible. It might sound melodramatic, but Faraday truly believed Rafe had saved his life.

Suddenly he heard his name. He looked up at Sam. “Huh?”

Sam gave him an encouraging smile and repeated, “Do you have your vows, Josh?”

“Oh, yeah.” He dug into his suit pocket, only to discover the index cards he had carefully prepared weren't there. Shit! He checked his other pocket. Not there either. Double shit! He patted his chest. Nope, not there. Triple shit! Where were they? He remembered he had been practicing his speech that morning in Red's guest room, where he had stayed the previous night. He must have left them on the nightstand. Curse Rafe and his superstition about not seeing each other before the wedding.

This was a disaster! One of those 'this could ruin the whole wedding' kind of disasters! He could feel the weight of the entire room staring at him pressing on his chest like a ten-ton weight. Rafe's smile, meanwhile, was hopeful and expectant, the love he felt shining in his eyes, and once again Faraday wondered how he had ever gotten so lucky. He couldn't fuck this up. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint Rafe. Not today. Not any day.

Unsure what else to do, Faraday took a deep breath, and simply spoke from his heart, finding words to express everything he had just been thinking about this wonderful man in front of him. He sprinkled in a couple of Spanish endearments he had memorized, or at least thought he had memorized. One of them got a huge laugh from the guests, so Faraday knew he had messed it up.

Maybe it wasn't his perfectly scripted speech, but it was honest and as full of love as he could make it.

Rafe didn't laugh, however. With tears in his eyes, he leaned forward and gave Faraday a big kiss. Somewhere in the distance, he heard Sam give a discreet cough and an amused reprimand. “Not yet, gentlemen. Your turn, Mr. Vasquez.”

Rafe didn't need any index cards, of course. The Spanish words, beautiful and lyrical, flowed off his tongue like poetry. Numerous members of the audience, including Maggie Faraday, were moved to tears, and sniffles could be heard throughout the church. Faraday kept waiting for him to translate into English, but he simply ended with a phrase that Faraday had heard before and understood: “Te amo, mi corazón (i love you, my heart).”

Before Faraday had a chance to demand a full translation of the entire speech, Sam called for the rings. Sniffles turned to delighted laughter as Red and Emma walked Mimi and Ethel—all decked out in their matching pink sequined bows and little white lace ring pillows—down the aisle. They pranced proudly on their leashes, yipping happily as they approached the altar.

Faraday hated to admit it, but they did look damn cute.

There was a pause as Emma and Red leaned down and removed the rings from the pillows, then handed them off to the two grooms. There was another slight delay while the dogs tried to jump up and kiss their owners, but Emma and Red were able to quickly get them under control with some handy puppy treats. They took their places beside Rafe and Faraday, and the ceremony continued.

_Just one more step to get through, and it will all be over_ , Faraday thought. He'd be married to Rafe. The only thing he wanted in life. He could do this. He could absolutely do this.

Sam spoke. “Joshua, repeat after me. . .”

And he did. Almost. He might have stumbled over his name, but he got the rest of it right. Maybe. Probably. No one was laughing, so yeah, he got it right. He slid the gold band onto Rafe's hand and then Rafe started to speak:

“I, Rafael Mauricio Vasquez, take you, Joshua Christopher Faraday, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

He knows there was more after that, but all Faraday could concentrate on was the feel of Rafe taking his hand and slipping the ring on his finger. Suddenly he was sweating, his hands started trembling, and his heart was beating so wildly he thought it would burst out of his chest. It felt like he was flying or maybe he might faint, which was ridiculous but completely valid.

Somehow he heard Sam's voice cut through the chaos that seemed to have swallowed him whole: “I now pronounce you married. You may kiss. . .”

And then Rafe's hands were cupping his face and Rafe's lips were crushed to his and everything was calm and right again. The place erupted in cheers, but Faraday didn't notice. He had done it. They had done it. He and Rafe were married. Nothing else mattered.

It seemed like only seconds, but must have been much longer, when there was a tap on his shoulder that brought the kiss to an end. He turned to see Jack's weathered features split into a huge smile as he said, “Time to go, boys,” and gestured towards the aisle, where the rest of the wedding party was making their way towards the back of the church. Without letting go of his husband's hand—he had a husband now!—Faraday and Rafe stepped off the altar and began to follow.

“So, what did I say wrong?” he asked Rafe as they walked past the clapping guests.

This time Rafe did laugh. “You called me your 'patata especial'.”

“Which means. . .?”

“Special potato.”

Faraday grimaced. He wasn't going to live that down any time soon. “That's not what I meant.”

“I know.”

“And what did you say?”

“I'll tell you tonight.” Lowering his voice to a whisper, Rafe added, “After I make you scream my name.”

“Asshole.”

“I love you too, mi marido.”

“I haven't heard you call me that before.”

Rafe gave him a big grin. “Because I couldn't, until now.”

That's when Faraday figured out that it meant 'husband'. Rafe had blessed him with many pet names during their relationship, but this one was new. And he had a feeling it was going to be his favourite.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Rafe had misplaced his marido. He wasn't sure how that had happened. One minute they were enjoying a delicious meal and enduring all the many long-winded and embarrassing toasts and speeches, and the next Josh was gone. A thorough search of the reception hall failed to solve the mystery, as did a check outside, a quick look in the kitchen, and a visit to the men's room.

“¿Dónde está ese tonto?” (where is that silly man?) Rafe muttered under his breath as he strode down the hallway off the main room, one of the few places he hadn't investigated. He wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings, which is why he didn't see the hand that shot out of the coat-room door and dragged him inside.

“What the fu. . .?” he started to say when he suddenly realized he was looking into a very familiar, if slightly inebriated, face.

“Babe, we have to stop meeting like this,” Josh laughed, as he pinned Rafe to the wall.

“Are you loco?”

Those bright green eyes sparkled with mirth. “Si. Loco for you, mi pene especial.”

“Your special penis?”

“What?”

“That's what you just called me. Your special penis.”

Josh frowned in confusion and annoyance. “Fuck me, what am I trying to say?”

Rafe was sure the affection he had for this ridiculous man could be read clearly on his face. “I have no idea, cariño (sweetie).”

“Whatever. I've got you all to myself now, and I've wanted to do this all day.” With that, Josh pulled him in for a deep, passionate kiss. The taste of whiskey on those lips confirmed Rafe's assumption that his marido had been enjoying the open bar. It was good to know he was finally relaxing and having a good time.

When they finally broke apart, Rafe demanded, a bit breathlessly, “Mijo (hon), what are you doing?”

“You look so good in that tux,” Josh murmured against his lips as busy fingers unbuttoned his dinner jacket. “Wanna strip it off of you.”

Josh wasn't the only one feeling that way. Rafe had had similar thoughts since seeing his beloved at the church, looking good enough to eat in his perfectly tailored black suit. But there was a time and a place for everything, and this, sadly, wasn't the time. “Not now,” Rafe said, brushing the hands away.

“Awww, babe,” Josh whined, with a mock-pout. “Is the magic gone already?”

Rafe rolled his eyes fondly at Josh's theatrics. “Hardly. But it's time to cut the cake.”

Josh's hands returned, skimming over Rafe's hips as he gave a dismissive, “Can't it wait?”

“Guero, I married you so I could have a wedding cake.”

“Is that the only reason?” Josh teased, nibbling on Rafe's ear.

“Of course it was. Why else would I marry you?”

Another nibble, and a mumbled, “Because you like my pene especial?”

Rafe snorted at that. “C'mon, cabrón (bastard)! They need us soon.”

“ 'Soon' isn't 'now',” Josh pointed out, logically, his mouth claiming Rafe's once more.

And as Rafe lost himself in the kiss, he realized Josh was right. They probably had some time while the organizers set everything up. He broke the kiss long enough to say, “Okay, but just a couple of minutes. And no hickeys! I don't want hickeys showing up in our pictures!”

“You just suck the joy out of everything,” Josh grumbled, good-naturedly.

“Oh, I'll be sucking a lot more than joy later on,” Rafe leered, his hands canvassing Josh's ass, as they fell into a heated kiss. And it was good. So good. Just like the first time they kissed, but even better. Rafe was sure he'd never get tired of kissing this man, not today, not ever.

Things quickly moved from playful to passionate, and they soon lost track of time, which is why they were startled when there was a knock on the door.

“Josh? Are you in there?” Emma's exasperated voice brought a sudden, and unwelcomed, end to their clandestine hook-up. “We're ready to cut the cake.” There was a pause before she added, “Hola, Rafe.”

“Jesus wept!” Josh cursed, as he tucked his shirt tails back into his pants. “That damn woman has the worst timing!”

“Just a few more hours,” Rafe soothed, as he straightened the knot in Josh's necktie, “then I'm all yours.”

“Promise?”

The hopeful tone in Josh's voice tugged at Rafe's heart. “Today and always,” he vowed, brushing a final kiss his marido's lips. “Now let's go get some cake.”

“That's what I was trying to do,” Josh sarcastically reminded him.

Rafe's laughter echoed off the walls of the small room. How he loved this silly, silly man!

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Red Harvest was bored.

Bored. Bored. Bored.

And not even the third bottle of his favourite microbrew beer was helping.

Never a fan of large crowds at the best of times, being forced to wear a rented tux for eight hours and mingle with a bunch of strangers was definitely not the 'best of times'. Unfortunately, the person who would normally sympathize with his situation was currently busy cutting his wedding cake with his new husband.

Joshua Faraday married. Must be end of days. Poor Rafe probably had no clue what he had just gotten himself into. His own fault, really. After all, Red and Emma had both tried to warn him.

With The Allman Brothers Band's “Blue Sky” playing, the guests all stood around, snapping pictures and filming videos, as the grooms gripped the knife together and made the first cut. Josh broke off a small piece of cake and carefully fed it to Rafe. When it was Rafe's turn, he broke off a piece but instead of giving it to Faraday, he ate it himself. “HEY!” Faraday protested, as everyone laughed.

Red didn't know why Josh was so surprised. If cake was in sight, Rafe would claim it. Everyone and their uncle knew that.

Taking a sip of his beer, Red reflected on the last few hours of his life. He had been unsure about the whole 'best man' thing when Josh had first approached him about it. All the fuss and responsibility—plus the aforementioned crowd of strangers—wasn't something he wanted to deal with. But Josh had a way of using his charm when he really wanted something, and he really wanted Red to be by his side on his big day. Red eventually said 'yes', mostly because after ten years of friendship, through all the good times and bad, he didn't feel right saying 'no'.

At least he had nailed the best man's speech, something he had been dreading. Too bad the same couldn't be said for Josh. First leaving his wedding vows in Red's apartment, then tripping over his own name during the ring exchange. Not exactly his finest hour. It all worked out in the end, naturally, but Red was still disappointed he had missed out on the 'special potato' moment. Thankfully, Maggie Faraday had shared her video of it with him.

Bless her heart.

Other than those little hiccups, though, the rest of the ceremony had gone smoothly. Even the dogs had behaved themselves, against all odds. And so far, the reception had been worth every penny Red knew it had cost—something Josh had bitched about on an almost daily basis for the past year. The hall was elegantly decorated, the DJ was playing great music, the meal had been exquisite, and there was still the cake to look forward to, well, unless Rafe ate it all before they could serve it.

Still, none of that took away from the fact that he knew nobody there except for his co-workers, and they were all paired off: Josh and Rafe, Goody and Billy, Emma and Matt, Jack and Leni. He might have been able to hang out with Sam, but their boss was currently hitting it off with Maggie, which left Red the lone spare wheel.

It sucked being the lone spare wheel.

Of course, it didn't have to be that way, if he'd only get up off his ass and do something about it. There were certainly enough options out there. The room was filled with beautiful people. Tall, curvy women. Handsome, fit men. Red didn't know their names, but had seen some of their faces on the covers of international fashion magazines. And it seemed every one of them had a hug or a kiss—or both—for Rafe. To say that Josh was seething with jealousy would have been an understatement, and Red knew he was a bad man for finding that amusing.

To be frank, Red was honestly surprised that Josh had agreed to this whole wedding fiasco in the first place, but love can make people do stupid things, and Josh was stupidly head over heels in love with Rafe. Red wondered if he'd ever find someone that special.

His musings were interrupted as the music suddenly faded before going silent. He looked up at the stage where the DJ stood, microphone in hand. “And now, ladies and gentlemen, our happy couple will open up the dancefloor!” With that announcement, Josh and Rafe walked to the middle of the room to a loud round of applause. As the opening notes of the song began to play, however, the clapping tapered off uneasily and many in attendance looked confused, none more so than one half of the newly wedded pair.

“This isn't the song we picked!” Rafe could be heard to exclaim as BW Stevenson started singing about his Maria.

“I know!” Josh answered with a big grin. “It's better!”

Red, who was in on the joke, already had his cellphone out and was recording the whole spectacle for posterity. Josh, being a sentimental fool, had thought it would be fun to surprise Rafe with a tribute to the one member of their family who couldn't join them for the celebration because, face it, the dogs had been bad enough. A horse would have been really pushing it.

Shelton didn't count, as he was too smart to get involved in any of this nonsense.

It took a few moments, but eventually Rafe finally understood what was going on and let out a boisterous laugh as he pulled Josh in for a huge hug. It wasn't the easiest song to dance to, but they gamely made an effort, giggling when they stumbled, and loudly singing along to the refrain:

_“Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-reeia,_  
_Ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-reeia, I love you!” 1_

It was almost enough to make Red gag, except, dammit, he was happy for Josh. Happy for them both, actually.

When Rafe had first entered the picture, Red would be the first to admit he was a bit resentful. He and Josh had been like brothers for years and suddenly there was this other guy, striding in with his exotic looks and flashy lifestyle and basically sweeping Josh off his feet. In a matter of weeks, all of Josh's free time was taken up with this interloper, which was disappointing, but more than that, Red was concerned because he didn't know what Rafe's intentions were towards his best friend. Deep down, he was sure the man was just messing around with Josh until someone classier or richer or better-looking came along. Meanwhile, anyone with eyes could see Josh was nuts about Rafe, and Red knew he'd be the one picking up the pieces when things inevitably went south.

But as the months went by, Red got to know Rafe better, and discovered he was a really good guy who was just as nuts about Josh, for some odd reason. And as their relationship grew, it became apparent that not only was Rafe good to Josh but also FOR Josh. Red had watched in admiration, and a touch of disbelief, as Josh began cleaning up his life, quitting (or at least curtailing) some of his more destructive habits: drinking less, gambling less, eating a vegetable once in a while. Just trying to be a better man, someone Rafe could love and want to keep around.

Needless to say, he wasn't completely successful. He WAS Joshua Faraday, after all. There would always be a bit of the bad boy rebel to him, which Rafe seemed to understand and actually appreciate. Still, it had been a long while since Red had to worry about getting a late-night phone call from a holding cell or an emergency room—or something even worse—and for that, he'd always be grateful to Rafael Vasquez.

The dance ended, to polite, if still puzzled, applause. As the clapping died away, another song—the one that had been originally planned—began to play. Rafe smiled brightly and rested his head on Josh's shoulder, as Larry Graham's “One in a Million You” filled the room:

_“Love had played its games on me so long,_  
_I started to believe I'd never find anyone,_  
_Doubt had tried to convince me to give in, said, 'You can't win'._  
_But one day the sun came a shinin' through,_  
_The rain had stopped and the skies were blue,_  
_And oh, what a revelation to see,_  
_Someone was saying 'I love you' to me._

_“A one in a million chance of a lifetime,_  
_And life showed compassion,_  
_And sent to me a stroke of love called 'You',_  
_A one in a million you.” 2_

The couple swayed to words of found love and life-long happiness. Josh even managed to dip Rafe at one point, which received a round of cheers and a few wolf-whistles. This time when the song finished, the applause was deafening.

While everyone was still clapping, Josh and Rafe walked hand-in-hand over to the head table, and led their mothers out onto the dancefloor, as “Te Amo Mamá” began to play. Half-way through, they changed things up by switching partners, and danced with each other's mother-in-law. By the end, both Amelia and Maggie were in tears, along with Rafe and half the room.

Everything was getting far too emotional and sappy for Red's taste. Another beer. That's what was needed. He had to be careful not to get drunk, though. If he did something to ruin this night, Josh would. . .well, he'd probably find it hilarious. Rafe, on the other hand, would most likely kill him and no one would ever find the body.

But just as he stood to head over to the bar, he saw Josh and Rafe heading his way, dragging Teddy Quinten, along. It was plain to see that the newlyweds had been taking advantage of the open bar since Rafe was hanging all over Josh like a cheap suit, not that Josh seemed to mind.

Dear lord.

“So how is it your mama is fluent in Spanish and you're rubbish at it?” Rafe was asking as they approached the table.

“Maybe because I didn't live in Tijuana for two years with a professional wrestler.”

Rafe grinned broadly at that. “Now that's a story I NEED to hear!”

“It's a pretty good one,” Josh agreed with a grin of his own.

Up close, Red noticed Josh was sporting a fresh hickey on his neck that definitely hadn't been there earlier. He really didn't want to know what those two idiots had been up to. “Well, if it isn't Joshua Faraday and his special potato,” he said, which made Rafe burst into laughter.

Josh pointed at him and primly announced, “You are no longer my best man.”

Red just shrugged. “Fine by me. Does that mean I can leave now?”

“No, because you're still my best friend, so I'll forgive you.”

“Lucky me.”

“And because you are my friend, I'm going to do you a favour.”

“Oh, joy.” Red didn't know what Josh was up to, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

Turning to their obviously confused companion, Josh gestured at Red and grandly declared, “Teddy, this is Red Harvest.”

Teddy looked back and forth between Josh and Red before answering, politely, “Yes, I know, Mr. Faraday.”

“How many times have I told you not to call me that?”

“Too many, Mr. Faraday.”

Josh shook his head. “Where was I?”

“This is Red,” Red supplied helpfully, curious to see where this was going.

“Right! This is Red Harvest. He's my ride or die. My brother from another mother. And he loves riding bareback. Horses. He rides horses bareback. And maybe other things, if you ask nicely.”

Rafe snickered at his husband's shenanigans, even as Red scolded, “Josh!”

But Josh paid him no attention and just kept on talking. As usual. “Red, this is Theodore Quinten, also known as Teddy Q. He's an Aquarius, likes long walks on the beach, is waaaaaaay too much into Star Wars for his own good, and he wants you to put your arrow in his quiver.”

Rafe barked a loud laugh at that.

“Mr. Faraday!” Teddy cried out, cheeks burning bright, and looking as if he wanted the ground to swallow him up. “I told you that in confidence! Well, not THAT exactly, but. . .”

“You told Josh a secret?” Rafe asked, clearly amused. “That was your first mistake, Teddy.”

“Shut up, you,” Josh scolded.

“Make me,” Rafe countered, which Josh did with a hard, fast kiss.

Meanwhile, Teddy was freaking out. “That's not, I mean, I wouldn't. . .,” he stammered, and Red was afraid the poor guy would start hyperventilating any second. “I never meant. . .”

But whatever Teddy intended on saying was cut off as Emma joined their group and demanded, “Faraday, what are you doing to my PA now?”

“Just what you did,” Josh replied, visibly pleased with himself. “I'm playing Cupid. Trying to get these two crazy kids together. And maybe three years from now we'll be attending THEIR wedding.”

“WHAT?!?” both Teddy and Red exclaimed at the same time.

“Oh, carry on then,” Emma told him with a dismissive wave of her hand, causing the glass it was holding to slosh champagne onto the floor. Evidently, Josh and Rafe weren't the only ones who had been raiding the open bar. Turning to Rafe, she said, “Vas, one of your friends is chatting up Matthew. Should I be worried?”

The group looked over to where Emma was pointing. On the other side of the room, Matthew Cullen was in an animated conversation with an attractive, well-dressed older gentleman. Their heads were tilted close together to be heard over the music, and the man's hand was resting comfortably on Matt's shoulder. “Nah, that's just Carlos,” Rafe said, snagging the glass from Emma's hand and taking a sip.

“Well, that just explains everything,” Emma quipped, sarcastically, as she snatched her glass back.

“He's an editor at Vogue Mexico,” Rafe clarified. “Always on the lookout for new talent. Probably just offering your boy a job.”

“My husband can't be a model! He's got diapers to change!” She gave Rafe a pointed look. “And if he's not around, SOMEONE will need to take his place.”

Her threat was not lost on Rafe. “Say no more,” he chuckled, looping his arm through hers. “Let's go talk to him.”

“I figured you'd say that,” she commented as they walked away.

“Josh, can I have a word with you?” Before Josh could answer, Red had grabbed him by the arm and was dragging him off in the opposite direction, leaving a befuddled Teddy looking around, trying to figure out what had just happened.

“Hey, HEY! Watch the tux, pal!” Josh protested. “It's Valentino!”

“It's rented,” Red reminded him as he unclasped Josh's elbow.

“I still have to pay for it if it's damaged,” Josh grumbled, smoothing out the wrinkles.

Red rolled his eyes. “What do you think you're doing?”

“What?”

“That stuff with Teddy.”

“Just giving you a little nudge nudge.” Josh threw in a wink and a smirk for good measure.

“I don't need a nudge nudge.”

“You totally need a nudge nudge.”

“I don't date co-workers,” Red contended.

“And how's that going for you?”

Red crossed his arms over his chest as he regarded his friend. “What are you implying?” he asked.

“I think I'm implying that you LITERALLY go nowhere except to work and occasionally to the archery range,” Josh said, mirroring Red's stance by crossing his arm in front of him. “You haven't been to the gym in weeks, and you've cancelled out on the last five Friday night bar get-togethers. If you don't date co-workers, how are you going to meet anyone?”

“Who said I wanted to?”

“Red, c'mon, man! When was the last time you went out and had a fun night with a cute guy?”

“None of your business,” Red replied, sullenly. Josh knew damn well it had been a while, and he also damn well knew the reason why.

“That's what I thought! Look, buddy, I know things ended badly with Den. . .”

“Don't ever say that name again.” It came out as a warning, one Josh didn't pay any attention to, because of course he wouldn't.

“But it's been months now,” Josh continued, undaunted. “Time to put him in your rear-view mirror and get back out there.”

“I have put him behind me.”

“No, you haven't, or you would have had a 'plus one' for today.”

“I like being alone.”

“I used to think like that, too. Turns out I was wrong.”

When Red didn't reply to that right away, Josh clasped his shoulder in a friendly, manly way, and said, “Dude, you're young, you're good looking, you've got a great personality when you decide to let it out. Don't let life pass you by just because of one bad experience.”

Red studied Josh for a moment. He wasn't wrong, about any of it. There was a thin line between being alone and being lonely, and Red had crossed it. He missed having someone to talk to, to go out with, to have sex with. Josh used to be good for two of those things, and the other he could manage on his own. But lately, he had been envious of his friend. He wanted what Josh had with Rafe. He wanted. . .more.

However, he'd be god-damned if he admitted any of that and be forced to listen to Josh's gloating for the next three weeks. Time to change the topic. “How much have you had to drink?” he asked.

Josh was obviously thrown off by the non sequitur. “A. . .lot?” he answered with some uncertainty. “Rafe's friends keep giving me drinks. I think they like me.”

“I think they're trying to get you shit-faced, and it's working.”

“Maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that I want my bestest friend to be happy.”

Red sighed. Apparently, Josh was going to be his usual stubborn self and not let this one go. “I'm happy,” he lied.

Josh just gave him a look which said he didn't believe that for one minute. “Yeah, well, Teddy's not, and he's my friend, too.”

Uncrossing his arms, Red slipped his hands into his trouser pockets. “What does that have to do with me?”

“He's been mooning over you for ages now. You've just been too blind to see it.”

“I've seen it,” Red confessed. Truthfully, it was hard to miss the heart-eyes Teddy made whenever he visited their basement office, but Red had done his best to ignore it. His breakup with Denali had been ugly, to say the least, and he had been reluctant to put himself back out there again.

“Then throw him a bone, okay?” Red just raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Not like that,” Josh amended. “Just. . .one dance. That's all. What could it hurt?”

Red looked over at Teddy, who was standing awkwardly on the edge of the dancefloor. He really was cute, and a nice guy, too, which was rare these days. And if he was a bit, well, nerdier, than the guys Red usually dated, perhaps that was a good thing. Maybe he should try someone a bit 'nerdier' for a change. Lord knew things never seemed to work with his usual 'type'.

“I dunno,” Red hedged. “He's kind of young, isn't he?”

“Nothing wrong with young,” Faraday insisted, “as long as it's not TOO young. Remember the rule—half your age and add seven. And Teddy's older than that, so you're good.”

Red thought it over for a minute. Hadn't he just been wishing he could find someone special? A chance for 'more'? Meeting your dream guy at your best friend's wedding sounded like a bad Hallmark rom-com, chick-flick cliché, but there must be a reason why those movies were so popular. And isn't that what happened with Josh and Rafe? Maybe lightning could strike twice. “One dance,” he finally relented with a huff, pretending he was doing Josh a favour.

“And a make-out session in the coat-room.”

“What?!”

“Well, it worked for me and Rafe.”

At that moment, Rafe walked up to them with a shot glass in his hand. “Did I hear my name?”

“Maybe, mi principe especial,” Josh purred, seductively.

An amused grin crossed Rafe's face. “Now I'm your special prince?”

“Yes!” Josh exclaimed, with a fist pump for added emphasis. “THAT'S what I've been trying to say! I knew I'd get it right eventually!”

“I'm proud of you, mijo.” And to prove it, Rafe leaned over and gave Josh a deep kiss.

Red just rolled his eyes. He was used to such behavior from those two.

“So did you get your amigo to stop molesting Matt?” Josh joked when they finally came up for air.

“Si. Your mama, however, is another matter. She just goosed me at the bar.”

That got a laugh out of Red. “You, too?”

“When did she get you?” Rafe asked.

“In the receiving line.”

Josh sighed. “Jesus wept. I gotta talk to her.”

“Don't bother,” Rafe told him. “Let her have her fun. Here,” and he held out the shot glass to his husband.

“What's that?”

“From Greg,” Rafe replied. “Or Gary. Some guy whose name starts with G.”

“You can't even keep track of all your old boyfriends.”

“They weren't all my boyfriends.”

Josh answered with a dubious, “Right,” as he took the glass from Rafe.

“Don't be jealous, mi rayo de sol (my sunshine).” Rafe held up his left hand, the brand-new gold band glittering brightly. “You put a ring on it, remember?”

“I certainly did.” Josh stared at his drink. “This is neon green.”

“A Mexican Samurai. Es delicioso.”

“Is there tequila in it?”

Rafe's grin was playful; the twinkle in his eye was devious. “But of course.” And Red suddenly wondered if Rafe's friends had been giving Josh all those drinks, or if Rafe was the actual culprit.

“I'm gonna regret this,” Josh grumbled before slamming it back.

“Probably,” Rafe agreed, a bit too gleefully.

Josh was still shaking off the effects of the shot when their flowergirl—her carefully styled bun now falling around her head and her crisp white dress no longer quite so crisp—ran up to the trio with a young boy in tow. “Tío Josh (uncle)! Tío Josh!” she cried out. “Do the thing!”

“What's the magic word, Rosie?” Rafe gently reminded his enthusiastic niece.

Bouncing impatiently in place, Rosie politely said, “Por favor, Tío Josh.”

Rafe turned back to Josh. “You know what that means, guero?”

“Yeah, I got it.” Josh crouched down until he was at kid-level, and, with a grand flourish, pulled a coin from Rosie's ear. “Ta-da!”

The boy's eyes grew wide. “Wow!”

“See, Javi, I told you!” Rosie bragged.

Josh repeated the trick for Javi as well, much to the boy's delight. As the two laughing children ran off with their treasure, he gave his husband a knowing look and a stern, “No, we're not getting one.”

“We'll see,” Rafe said, cryptically, as he reached down a hand to help Josh up on his feet.

Once standing, Josh wobbled on unsteady legs. “You and your damn tequila,” he muttered.

“Actually, it was Gary,” Rafe corrected, as he wrapped an arm around Josh's waist to steady him.

“Or Greg,” Red piped up.

“Right, or Greg,” Rafe agreed. “I always get them confused.”

“Well, whoever it was, they're evil,” Josh stated, leaning into Rafe. Red couldn't be sure if it was a loving embrace or because Josh was seconds from falling flat on his face. Probably a bit of both.

“I'll be sure to tell him,” Rafe chuckled. “Now come on. They're serving the cake.”

“Yeah, you still owe me a piece,” Josh reminded him, waggling his eyebrows.

Rafe smirked. “Oh, you'll get your cake, mi marido, after we throw the garter.”

Something told Red they weren't talking about pastries anymore, but he REALLY didn't want to know. “Can't believe Emma agreed to do that for you,” he said instead.

Faraday snorted at that. “Agreed? She's the one who suggested it.”

“You joining in?” Rafe asked.

“Not this time. I've got something else to do.” But when he looked over to where Teddy had been standing, he discovered to his dismay that the young man had disappeared. Now he'd have to track him down. Just his luck. Heaving a sigh, he started to walk away, only to hear Josh call out to him.

“I better be your best man!” he shouted, accompanied by Rafe's laughter.

Red casually flipped them both off behind his back, which of course just made Rafe laugh louder, and continued on his mission. As he wandered around the room, he tried to decide on the best way to approach his target. Cool and aloof? Smooth and confident? Friendly and upbeat? No, definitely not that. God, what was wrong with him? Why was he so nervous? It was one dance with Teddy Q, for heaven's sake. What was the big deal?

It took him a while—there were just so many people, and all of them dressed in black and white—but he eventually found Teddy sitting at a table near the stage, digging into a slice of wedding cake, and bopping his head to Santana's 'Oye Como Va'.

Dammit! He had been so focused in searching for Teddy he had forgotten about the cake! Oh well. Nothing could done about that now.

He was still working through his repertoire of opening lines when Teddy looked up and gave him a shy smile. “Hi, Red.”

“Hey.” Red gestured at the empty chair next to the young man, figuring that would be a good start. “Anyone sitting here?”

The smile got a little brighter. “No, please,” Teddy said, with an encouraging wave. As Red sat down, he added, “In fact I was hoping you would stop by. I saved a piece for you.” And with that, he slid a dessert plate containing a large slice of cake across the table.

Red was touched by the thoughtful gesture. Teddy was such a nice guy. Definitely not something he was used to. “Thanks. ”

“I didn't know how long Mr. Faraday would keep you and I didn't want you to miss out,” Teddy explained, handing Red a fork. “He's a great guy but, well, he can talk the hind legs off a donkey, as my granddad used to say.”

A smirk tugged at Red's lips. That was one of the nicer things he'd ever heard someone say about Josh. “That's true,” he agreed, plunging his fork into the cake. “He'd probably still be jawing 'cept they'll be tossing the garter soon.”

A confused furrow creased Teddy's brow that Red absolutely didn't find adorable. “Which one of them is wearing a garter?” he asked, hesitantly.

“Neither,” Red replied, popping the cake into his mouth. “It's Emma.”

A look of sheer panic crossed Teddy's face. “But, but. . .she's my boss!” he squeaked. “Do I HAVE to do it?”

Red inhaled another bite of cake. So good. Rafe had really outdone himself. Definitely the best part of the day so far. “Not if you don't want to.”

Teddy gave a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank goodness. That would just be. . .” he trailed off.

“Awkward?” Red finished.

“Yeah.” Teddy fiddled with his napkin for a moment before saying, “Speaking of awkward, I'm really sorry about what Mr. Faraday said earlier. You know, about you. . .and. . .and me.”

“No worries,” Red assured him. “Josh has a loose tongue when he's drunk. And when he's not drunk. He just generally has a loose tongue. We're good.”

Teddy's mouth curled into a happy smile. “Good.”

“Yeah.”

An uneasy silence fell over them as they both went back to eating. Red was beginning to realize that he was seriously out of practice with this whole flirting game. Finally, he cleared his throat and asked, “Was he right?”

Teddy didn't look up from his plate, but the blush spreading across his cheeks told Red he had heard the question. After a few moments he nodded slightly and mumbled, “But not the arrow bit.”

“Pity.” Teddy's head shot up in surprise at that. Red shrugged his shoulders. “Just saying.” He took a bite of his cake. “So why didn't you ever tell me?”

The blush deepened. “You're my friend, and I knew you didn't feel that way about me,” Teddy said. “I didn't want things to get, well. . .”

“Awkward?” Red finished again with a grin.

Teddy chuckled weakly. “Yeah.”

This was it. The opening Red had been looking for. Time to take the plunge. “It doesn't have to be awkward,” he pointed out.

“What doesn't?”

“Us. We could just be two friends, listening to music, eating cake and discussing 'Star Wars'.”

Teddy rolled his eyes at that. “Don't listen to Mr. Faraday. I'm not obsessed with 'Star Wars'.”

Red let out an exaggerated sigh of relief. “That's good, 'cause I've only seen 'Empire'.”

“Well, that's the best one anyway.”

“I'll remember that.”

Taking a bite of his cake, Teddy asked, “So what movies do YOU like?”

“I'm partial to superhero movies.”

“Marvel or DC?”

“Marvel all the way.”

Teddy's whole face lit up, and wow, he had a really nice smile. How had Red never noticed that before? “I love Marvel, too!” he said, excitedly. “Who's your favourite character?”

“Hawkeye. It was my introduction to archery as a kid. What about you?”

“Spider-Man, since I was, like, five.”

And just like that, the ice was broken. For the next half hour, they alternated between eating cake and talking movies, and when they finally moved onto the dancefloor, one dance turned into several, and while they didn't make out in the coat-room, they did share a kiss outside under the stars at the end of the night. And as they made plans for a movie date to go see “Black Widow”, Red decided that maybe weddings weren't so bad after all.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Faraday doesn't remember much after the garter toss. He knows there were a few more tequila shots, courtesy of Rafe's generous friends. Might have been a few more dances with his stupidly handsome husband. Pretty sure there were a few more magic tricks for little Rosie and a few more talks with his mom about keeping her hands to herself (for all the good that did). And then a final blurry recollection of lots of hugs and well wishes from guests as they left the party, followed by a limo ride back to the condo where he and Rafe would spend their wedding night before flying out to Hawaii in the morning. Just your typical Saturday night.

_“Ma-a-a-a-r-e-e-e-e-e-iaaaa!”_

“Quiet, idiota! You'll wake the neighbors!”

Faraday laughed as he grabbed for Rafe. “That's the plan.”

“Be careful, cabrón!” Rafe scolded. “I don't want to drop the cake!”

“As if it'll last until our one-year anniversary.” And if Faraday's drunken singing hadn't woken the neighbors, Rafe's only-slightly-less-drunken giggles at that comment surely did.

It took some effort, between protecting the box that contained the top tier of their wedding cake and fighting off Faraday's roaming hands, but Rafe was finally able to open the front door to their condo. At first Faraday was concerned when the girls didn't come running to greet them as they usually did until he remembered that a hired handler had taken them after the wedding photoshoot to stay at some swanky doggie hotel for the next two weeks. Rafe's idea, of course. Shelton was nowhere to be found—probably sleeping in Mimi's Seahawks bed, which he seemed to favor over his own.

Such a weird cat.

Speaking of beds. . .he really wanted to get into his. But before that could happen, Rafe disappeared into the kitchen with the cake box. When he returned a few moments later, he gave Faraday a kiss before taking him by the hand and leading him to their bedroom. There he slowly removed Faraday's tux before stripping off his own, carefully draping them both over a chair. Emma had promised to return them to the rental shop in the morning when she picked up Shelton to cat-sit.

Such a good friend.

“Are you okay, querido (dear)?” Rafe asked, concerned about Faraday's lack of focus.

Such a great husband.

“I'm great!” Faraday enthused. “I have a husband now!”

Rafe grinned at Faraday's outburst. One thing you could say about Joshua Faraday. . .he was a happy drunk. “Yes, you do. And so do I.”

“We're so lucky!”

“Yes, we are. How many Mexican Samurais did you have?”

Faraday frowned, his eyes squinting as he thought. “Dunno. I stopped counting after four.”

“I can't believe you're still upright.”

“Won't be much longer,” Faraday replied with a sly grin, backing Rafe towards the bed.

Rafe put his hand on Faraday's chest, stopping the momentum. “We should get some sleep. We have an early flight.”

“But I'm supposed to scream your name tonight, remember?”

“We're going to have two whole weeks in Hawaii. Plenty of time to make you scream.”

“C'mon, babe,” Faraday murmured seductively in Rafe's ear. “Make me scream your name.”

“Mijo, you're in no shape for that.”

“Sure I am. World's greatest lover, remember?”

“Not tonight you're not.”

“Are you really gonna leave me a virgin on my wedding night?” Faraday threw in a playful pout for good measure.

Rafe snorted at that. “You haven't been a virgin since Clinton was president.”

“You promised me some cake, mi midori.”

“That's a liqueur.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

Rafe shook his head fondly. “You're so drunk.” Leaning in for a kiss, he took the opportunity to spin them around. Not the smartest idea he ever had, as the room continued to spin even after he had stopped. They were both probably too wasted for this, but it WAS their wedding night, and his marido wanted it, so he'd give it a shot. “This isn't going to be pretty,” he predicted, pushing Faraday onto the bed.

Faraday had to agree. It wasn't pretty. It was sloppy and messy and probably the worst sex they had ever had. But despite all that, somehow, they made it work. There was just something about the mixture of the emotions of the day and the memory of how handsome Rafe had looked and the thought of having this for the rest of his life that made Faraday's heart soar, even if the amount of tequila running through his veins put a damper on their more adventurous activities. Still, as Rafe's fingers left a trail of fire wherever he touched, Faraday begged for more. And when Rafe finally wrapped his mouth around Faraday's cock, he enthusiastically cried out his husband's name as promised. By that point, he couldn't offer Rafe anything more than a clumsy handjob, but Rafe didn't complain, finding his pleasure in a warm, firm grip and pressing wet, dirty kisses to Faraday's lips.

After, as they lay tangled together in the tangled sheets, Faraday was the first to recover his voice. “Wow, that was bad.”

Rafe snickered. “I tried to tell you.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't be, you silly man. It was still fun.” Rafe patted Faraday's thigh as he crawled off the bed. “Just stay there.”

“Not gonna be a problem.”

Faraday was already half-asleep when Rafe returned a few minutes later. “Drink,” he said, handing Faraday a large glass of water and two Advil. Faraday did as commanded, tossing back the pills and gratefully draining the glass. Once empty, Rafe took the glass and passed over an unopened sleeve of saltines. “Eat.”

Drunk fingers plucked at the wrapper without much success. With a resigned sigh, Rafe reached out and ripped the package open. Faraday gazed up at him in awe and admiration, as if he had hung the moon and stars. “Thanks.”

“Don't get any crumbs in the bed,” Rafe warned, pressing a loving kiss to Faraday's forehead. There was no question he would be still be a hurting cowpoke in the morning, but at least this might help lessen the inevitable hangover.

Leaving Faraday to his snack, Rafe headed to the bathroom, returning this time with another glass of water and a warm, wet washcloth. He held the glass out to Faraday, which seemed to confuse the man, though to be fair, in his inebriated state, that wasn't hard to do. “I just drank that.”

“Yes, and now you're going to drink another one.”

“Oh, okay.” But instead of reaching for the glass, Faraday looked down at the cracker he held in one hand and the package of saltines he held in the other, seemingly trying to puzzle out how he was going to manage all three items, and Rafe may have felt yet another rush of affection for this absurd man he had fallen in love with.

Taking the sleeve of crackers out of Faraday's hand, he placed them on the bed before pressing the glass into his now empty hand. “Thanks,” Faraday said again, a dopey grin on his face.

While Faraday continued alternating between crackers and sips of water, Rafe busied himself, wiping down that broad, auburn-furred chest, cleaning away the mess he had made. He didn't mind—he enjoyed taking care of Josh. Plus, he might have felt a little bit guilty for supplying all those Mexican Samurais.

Munching on a cracker, Faraday mused, “I don't understand.”

“What's that, mi marido?”

“Why is it still so good? The sex.” Faraday finished off his cracker and snagged another before continuing, “I mean, it's been three years now. Why is it still so damn good, even when it's not?”

Rafe dropped the cloth in the trashcan to be dealt with later and crawled into the bed. “Because we're married,” he said, simply.

Faraday paused in mid-chew. “No, that's not it.”

A smile pulled at Rafe's lips. “It isn't?”

“No, because I felt that way even before today.” Faraday popped the rest of the cracker in his mouth and took another from the sleeve. “I still want you as much as the first time. Maybe more than the first time. And I don't know why.”

“Awww, you love me,” Rafe teased, as he tugged at the bedding.

“Rafe, I'm serious.”

“So am I.” Blankets securely tucked, Rafe took the half-empty package of saltines from the mattress and placed it on the nightstand. “You love me. That's why.”

“Oh.”

“You know you're still drunk, right?”

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Swallowing down the last of the water, Faraday put the glass on his own nightstand as Rafe shut off the bedside lamp. It took a few moments for Faraday to snuggle into a comfortable position, but once he did, he felt Rafe spoon up behind him, left arm wrapping around his waist and pulling him close. He fumbled around until he found Rafe's hand and clasped it, entwining their fingers so their new gold rings were pressed together. “It was a great day, wasn't it?” he whispered into the darkness.

“Si, it was,” Rafe agreed, kissing the back of Faraday's neck.

“Everyone seemed to have a good time, huh?”

“They did. Especially Red and Teddy. I still can't believe you set those two up.”

“Well, SOMEONE had to do it. If we had waited for Teddy to make a move, we'd've died old men.”

Rafe chuckled, the puff of warm air tickling Faraday's skin. “True. True.”

“What about you? Was it the wedding of your dreams?”

“More. Much, much more. The best day of my life.” Another kiss graced Faraday's neck. “The first of many best days, I'm sure.”

Faraday gave Rafe's hand a squeeze. “I'm glad.”

“Get some sleep now, mijo. We're going to have a busy day tomorrow.”

“But you said you'd tell me your vows if I screamed your name.”

“When you're sober, I will trace them on your skin with my tongue,” Rafe pledged.

Faraday groaned softly. “I definitely want to be sober for that.” Giving Rafe's hand another squeeze, he asked, “How do you say it again?”

Rafe smiled, understanding Faraday's request, but choosing to tease him a bit first. “You mean patata especial?”

“No, not the special potato thing, asshole. The other one. The new one.”

“Mee mee-ra-do,” Rafe patiently sounded out.

“Te a-mo, mee mee-ra-do, (I love you, my husband) ” Faraday slurred, haltingly.

“You're getting better, guero.” But the snore that greeted Rafe's praise told him Faraday hadn't heard it. Silly man. “Y te amo, (and I love you)” he whispered, before joining his marido in dreamland.

THE END

* * * * * * * * * * *

**Author's Note:**

> SONGOGRAPHY:
> 
> 1 “My Maria” by BW Stevenson; written by BW Stevenson and Daniel Moore
> 
> 2\. “One in a Million You” by Larry Graham; written by Sam Dees.
> 
> I tried to have Red's segment echo back to somewhat to Faraday's in “My Eyes Are The Only Things I Don't Want to Take Off Of You”. I don't know if I succeeded as well as I had hoped. It sounded like a much better idea in my head. Oh, well. . .
> 
> Also, in case anyone was interested, here are the suits I was imagining when I wrote this. (I wish I had a better picture of Rafe's, but if you watch "6 Underground" you can see Manuel rocking the hell out of that white dinner tux):  
> Faraday: https://jd-rush.tumblr.com/post/179874958073/chris-pratt-attends-the-premiere-of-the#notes  
> https://jd-rush.tumblr.com/post/180187028003/chris-pratt-attends-the-premiere-of-the#notes  
> Vasquez: https://jd-rush.tumblr.com/post/611413668373168128#notes  
> https://jd-rush.tumblr.com/post/626536075778785280/manuel-garcia-rulfo-as-javierjavithree-in-6#notes


End file.
